Interview: Dolls of Domarby

Back in the days I came up with an idea to interview some other like-minded people to gather thoughts and feelings about subjects like alternative fashion, fetishism, kinky or other relating subjects. I think this can widen up the picture about fetishism and perhaps tell some other stories about fetishism than just my own. After all we all are individuals and it is good to hear others with their own experiences and feelings about their fetishes or other interests. My focus is to question more about backgrounds, thoughts and experiences than entertaining sides of fetishism.

This time my interviewee is Ilmari from Finland who runs the channel named Dolls of Domarby in Instagram. Here are some information and thoughts from him:

Please tell a bit about yourself (for example nickname, age, country and town, employment, relationships, hobbies, interests, pets or similar...)

Most people call me by my first name Ilmari. Some friends from my youth call me by nickname Eddie from those times. I'm 64. I live in Helsinki, Finland with my wife. We have been married for 36 years and have three grown up sons. I am a Lutheran pastor and my job is mostly concentrated to supporting local youth work and contacts to cultural field. Fashion dolls, comics, popular music and metros are some of my interests.

How did you end up dealing with fetish related subjects?

Maybe there has been some interest since childhood. I got my first fashion doll from my godparents when I was six. I guess they had noticed my fascination to beautiful clothes and pretty footwear. Ten years ago I really started this miniature hobby but my sewing skills are not good. Even though I could ask advice from my wife who is a handicraft specialist I was not able to make well fitting pants for my dolls. Then I tried latex. I started using balloons as material for doll clothing. That was a success. I have become quite skillful by doing.

What do you wish to achieve with your interests? (be popular, have friends, enjoy the hobby, just hanging around or similar...)

I wish to spread the message that everyone should have the right to express themselves as they are. Role expectations shall not limit the hobbies of your interest. When I started publishing photos of my latex creations and other doll dress-up in Instagram many people in the fetish scene showed interest. I have also been following many alternative and fetish models for inspiration. I have gotten many new acquaintances and friends are interested in my doll art and I have also learned a lot about fetish world. For me this hobby and contacts to open-minded people are very important way to balance my life. My work is sometimes very stressful and I must deal with people's worries. My hobbies help me to forget all that for a while. To stay sane I need to get some positive energy in spare time and holidays. And of course having some fun in life is as essential as breathing, eating and sexual well-being. 

Do you have some ideology which you follow in your life?

My main ideology is equal rights and freedom for all. Of course as a pastor I have religious values too. My relation to Christianity and other traditions is very liberal. I am one of the so called rainbow priests who marries also same sex couples. That is unfortunately not self-evident to all pastors in Finland yet. I think that every living tradition must evolve with time. Gender equality is an important thing to me. I am a norm critical feminist because I have through my life seen that especially women's rights are still very endangered and diminished. My main subject in university studies was Comparative Religion and I have very deeply absorbed the thought that to understand yourself you need to understand others. For me cultural diversity, subcultures and countercultures are important factors of society.

What is your best moment / moments / memories related to your hobby?

First of all the moment when I realized that the line between fashion and fetish is very thin. I have no need to define if for example shiny and colorful clothes and attractive shoes are fashion or fetish to me. Meeting nice, open-minded and sex positive people who respect my views and like my art are always my favorite moments. Also discussing all kinds of things in life with people who are on the same wave length even though their special ways of this hobby are not the same. You can feel understood without explaining why this kind of things can interest an adult.

Do you see your hobby related to fetishes or not? And how do you deal with people who see it in other ways?

Well, in the beginning I for example used many fetish related hashtags just to see what kind of profiles would react to them. But this curiosity has nowadays turned to more towards a community attitude. I have very strongly realized that many people deny their own fetishes and even the word is some kind of taboo for many. I am trying to spread the thought that fetish is not a thing to be shamed of. In my hobby I'm trying to reflect it as a natural part of life, not something to be laughed at nor to be silenced. Sometimes the message goes through easier when presented as a cute doll diorama than by giving a serious speech.

Do you live openly with your interests or do you wish to keep your interests more private?

I can tell very openly about my interests. Of course I have some things that I share only with my wife and family and friends but my doll hobby or opinions are no secret. My Instagram and 99.99 per cent of my Facebook posts are public. Things I do not talk about publicly are the confidential things I hear from people in my work, private matters of my friends, most family matters and the details of my sex life.

Do you consider fetishists or kinky people as sexual minority or not? Why?

I guess we all have our own kinks. I know that fetishists sometimes meet prejudices and discrimination even from people whose own lifestyle or sexual orientation is not hetero normative. I do not quite understand that. My own sex life might seem very vanilla and as a white heterosexual man I possibly never can completely imagine the situation of an oppressed minority. Maybe this is just my own point of view but in my thoughts fetishes are not a minority thing. Still I think that as a stigmatized group often passed with silencing fetishists are in the same kind of marginalized status in society as sexual minorities.

Have you had any negative experiences in your life because of your interests?

Some people have not quite accepted that I am a critical person. No title alone gives anyone real authority in my eyes. For example in my work or in my political activism I have never wanted to have a leader position. My call is to be active in the practical level. I have also been avoiding all kinds of good fellow cliques and insider clubs. I rather keep contact with everyday people and different subcultures. That irritates especially those who consider me "a man who knows too much" their not so good behavior. There have been situations when someone has tried to threaten or defame me because of my hobby but I know my rights and that I have not broken any rules. One strange and irritating thing has occurred especially after newspaper interviews about my doll hobby. Some women have tried to harass me sexually. I had to block some telephone numbers to get rid of their fantasizing calls and in worst cases their masturbation on the phone. I had heard about men who send inappropriate pics to women but could never imagine women sending inappropriate pics before that happened. The most uncomfortable comment to my saying no thanks has been a hateful woman asking why I am in Instagram but do not show any interest to her genitals. 

How about positive sides that your interests have brought to your life?

Positive sides overcome all the negativity. I have gotten many new friends. I have learned a lot from different people, their interests and their lifestyles. My own views have widened. Most people have been very positive and supportive to my hobby.

Would you like to see fetishism more ordinary and accepted subject than nowadays or do you wish to see fetishism more as it is now, like a taboo?

My wish and goal is to make people realize that their prejudices usually tell more about their own lack of confidence and the fear to admit ther own interests, whatever those might be. I think that fetishes as well as  many sex-related things are taboo because role expectations and normative thinking are so widely spread. But if we all were exact copies or clones of each other in every sense the world would be a dull place and life would lose its meaning.  

Have you been at occasions related to your hobbies?

I have been in some small meets of doll hobbyists. In one meet I showed how I make latex pants for a Barbie doll. I have also published my creations and told about them in a social media group of fashion doll hobbyists. I have even made there a little instruction about a simple way to make latex leggings for a fashion doll and how to polish them. Of course I have visited a few fairs for all kinds of miniature hobbyists and met interesting people there, too. The most empowering, but private, occasions have been doll photo sessions with human models. I have also done doll twinning with some modeling friends or Instagram followers so that I have created a doll photo pastiche of some outfit in their fashion or fetish photo. And I must say that also my knowledge about different fetish or kinky related happenings has grown although I have not participated myself.  

Is there something that you would like to change relating to your interest / hobby? Why?

I would like everyone to understand that hobbyists have different and personal approaches to their common interest. For example many doll hobbyists are collectors, some form their dolls by changing head, body or hair, some create long or never ending soap operas etc. I am a dresser and dressmaker who likes to create scenes and take photos where my dolls reflect real life. Maybe they also reflect my passion for fashion or fetishes, at least on an unconscious level. 

What do you love to do on your spare time and why?

Besides the doll thing my active interests are metros and trams, a wide range of popular music, comics, road trips and feminist politics.

Three common things you love and three things you dislike?

+ coffee and milk

+ detective stories and romantic novels

+ crossword puzzles

- dishonesty

- racism

- telemarketing

Plans for the future?

I have one more year before I reach the age of 65 and retire from my job. I do not have any specific plans. I hope to have more time for my hobbies, more time for my friends and to be able to live without too many obligations.

Want to mention your possible sites, like Instagram etc?

My Instagram account @dollsofdomarby is concentrated on my doll hobby. The name refers to the part of town where I live. Tuomarinkylä in Finnish, Domarby in Swedish, means Judge's village and is an old name dating from the 17th century.

Instagram link: https://www.instagram.com/dollsofdomarby/

Free word to share more of your thoughts.

I do not wear latex myself. My own style is mainly wool and cotton. But many of my clothes are actually classified as "women's clothes". I do not wear skirts or anything very provocative but I dress very colorfully. Very often the exactly same garment is classified to men's or women's department depending on its color. My body form is so round that for example women's jeans and coats  usually fit me better tan those made with men's measurement standards. Lots of my clothes are knitted or crocheted by my wife. And many of my clothes I have bought in "big girls' shops". Maybe this is  an expression of my feminine side as well as  the fact that all my fashion dolls are different kind of woman figures.

Something you wish to say for the readers?

Let your love light shine. Let your outfits shine out. Do not deny yourself. Enjoy your interests. Fashion or fetish, call it whatever you want.

 

Thank you very much for your time and thoughts Ilmari! I wish you all the best for the future!